Fuck this shit! Fuck honesty! Fuck communication! Fuck you telling me it is my fault too! Don’t tell me what to do. Don’t tell me to own my part. You fucking own yours! And I scream and I cry and I cry some more. And I am dehydrated because all I ever do is cry […]

There are so many things spilling out of my broken heart right now. I should dance it out, but my body is too heavy and I feel I might split into pieces if I tried. So I write. I am scared. Scared of my feelings. Scared they are lies. Scared to make a decision I […]

I just finished up my workout for the day. My hair in a sweaty pony tail, wearing electric pink sunglasses, a tank top, and sloppy sweat pants over my booty shorts because the grocery is always cold. I need to grab some dinner necessities before heading home. Windows down and music up, I pull into an […]

So many conversations. So many questions. They question who I say I am. Suspicions of flying a flag that does not belong to me. Suspicions of experimentation. Feeling shame and doubt every time I am asked to explain. Feeling shame and doubt every time I am asked to give my journey of experiences. Feeling the […]

*evidence of my Encounters With a Pole, Week 1 Prepping for a new performance work. Reading The Feminist Porn Book and Simone de Beauvoir. Taking pole dancing classes… What about my own sexuality is truly, innately mine, and what has been set on my shoulders by the people who have come before me in this evolution of humanity? Do […]

The rock broke me. The rock in the picture. It isn’t a difficult rock to climb. The route I was attempting is a VO (that is the easiest there is as far as bouldering ratings go). There I am, on the rock, the crash pad and my spotter below me- in case I fall. That […]

We’ve described how we are victims or conquerors of our fears, but what happens when we become perpetrators of fear in others? During Northwest Coast Native American rituals, masked dancers are often inhabited by frightening spirit beings.  These beings inflict fear and awe in the gathered community.  Inflicting fear may be a way of demonstrating dominance […]